The power of vulnerability is a common meme these days thanks Brene Brown. But much like other easy answers to hard questions it is not easy to just be more vulnerable. In fact ‘be more vulnerable’ is probably just a rephrase of ‘love yourself more’. How do we learn to be become more vulnerable or love ourselves more for that matter. Can vulnerability even be learned? If so how?
From my experience over the last few years of being in circle and facilitating circle it is in fact a learned skill. I have in fact found that in a highly resonant amplified field of circle the nervous systems are open to learning from each other, as one person drops into vulnerability everyone feels it and learns a how, the exponential rate of learning that results is mind blowing.
I was in a business meeting yesterday working with a startup incubator and we were talking about helping a team of creative and brilliant software developers fire at a whole new level. Creating an environment where they get to fully blossom and to experience themselves in their majesty. An experience where they are fully tapped into the creative field, where they get to ride the amplified wave of each other’s collective creativity and inspiration. It was one of those beautiful uplifting business meeting moment something opened up, we were in flow we were modelling some of what we wanted to achieve, I could feel how this new class of conscious business people are really really really changing the world.
Then the question came how do we create these environments for startup teams? The stock standard answer was vulnerability. To create the human connections required for this type of creativity we need that amount of vulnerability (trust, resonance, safety call it what you need ….). Next question, can we train people to be vulnerability and if so how? The discussion meandered and found a conclusion that from our experiences, vulnerability is in fact a learned skill. We meandered further into the musings that vulnerability is in fact a meta skill, the lapis philosophorum (philosophers stone) of learning so to speak, i.e. as we become more vulnerability we create more safety, we are then open to more outside input, our systems adapt and integrate information quicker, all in all we accellerate individual and especially group learning creating a learning organisation.
We strayed of into a philosophical dialogue on the possibility that the consciousness itself (collective and its individual expressions) can be viewed as a living organism which is oriented primarily to maximise the rate of learning (the flow of meaning). The learning universe so to speak. If this is true then in the right environment any organism will tend towards growth and learning.
There was this beautiful flow that would suddenly break down and then a beautiful flow again. I noticed but was ignoring the slight frustration. David slowed things down with the words. ‘Brett I feel like we are dropping into a power struggle every now and then. We are trying to dominate each other which is destroying the dialogue. What can we do?’. I slowed down felt into my system felt the truth of his words and felt the pain of this movement into dominance that is a a pattern of mine and how it had effected my marriage to Anujah and my relationship to her as my business partner, I felt into how this pattern was playing out in my current relationship with Tracy. An incredible pain came up and I felt the move to suppress ignore not show hide I also felt the commitment to be authentic and I allowed the tears to flow. David seemed a little shocked by this. Strange behaviour in a business meeting indeed. I thanked him for his input and mentioned how I had felt into the effects of this pattern in my life.
After this visit into business twilight zone we came back to the very functional question. How do they create an environment where the team can learn vulnerability so as to open and accellerate the flow of learning.
This is the point where my two worlds collided and I moved from the amazed that I was part of this level of discussion in business to OMG my other life of facilitating circles could be a key? I tried to explain how circling was potentially a key, nothing landed :-(. I was invited by a business owner to give him a felt experience of circle. Oh shit how do I do that panic, regather, proceed. I agreed to do a tiny little 5 min demo of a circle (how to give a demo of an experience that requires resonance building, trust building etc). I dropped into feeling the field, I found grief that was there in my system, As I found the grief I allowed it to be seen and witnessed. As the grief came through tears flowed again, this time we got touched by some of our grief and we felt the gentle touch of the love that was instantly there, allowing us to feel safe to show more. We experienced the field drop into higher resonance, we experienced the amplifaction, the love, the safety, the connection. David shared his feeling of grief over the loss of his business partner who he had started the business with and recognised that he had not allowed himself to feel.
We continued the meeting and had a little walk together to get lunch. At the end we agreed that we wanted to create something amazing together and that somehow we were going to find the correct business arrangement for this to happen.
So obvious now after the fact, the way to explain vulnerability is to be vulnerable. The way to explain circle and the power and impact it has had on me is to access vulnerability in environments that feel like thats a really bad idea, to own my shit and show up fully, life lesson – walk my talk. I came away feeling like I had just had the most incredible collective and individual learning experience, I can still feel my system tingling as it integrates this new information. I want to be working with people who can guide me into these places and help me bring my gifts to the world.
Thank you David for that gentle guidance.
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